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Grief is a never ending journey - fact!

Updated: Jun 9, 2022

After losing my mother very quickly to the dreaded #cancer my world was turn upside down, and inside out. I felt as though I had been run over by a big truck and I didn't know how to get back up.

My whole world changed. I felt lost, deserted & abandoned.

We had just moved to Wales from London so that we could be closer to my mum and she could enjoy her grandchildren, her garden and living in a place that she had always dreamed off.

Sadly, this did not even last a year.

All the plans we had made, all the dreams we had dreamed of, had been shattered.

I often think of our dream as a beautiful watercolour painting, that somebody spilt dirty paint water on and now it is ruined, forever.

I had to find the strength to get up in the mornings and take care of my young family though. Staying in bed was not an option.

One day, my son, who was just three years old at the time, came in from the garden with a bunch of daisies for me and said: "Mama, I picked you these so you won't be sad anymore."

My heart melted at the sweetness of my little boys gesture. So tender and caring and yet clearly wanting to make things better for me. I looked at these simple flowers and for the first time in a long time, I saw beauty in the world again. With their delicate white petals, pale pink tones underneath and their short but strong, green stems, I knew that despite everything there were still things to enjoy in life, the simplicity of the daisies showed me that.

It has taken me a long time to get to where I am today and I still have days when I don't want to get out of bed because I miss my wonderful, brilliant, fantastical mother so much - I don't ever stop missing her, wishing she was here but I have accepted that grief is an ever changing journey, one that doesn't come to an end.

In this movie I explain how I became the 'happy' artist and I owe that to my wonderful mother.

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